Holiday

- Greenday

Here I am.
Close to nowhere... miles from home.
All family. No friends.
Good weather. Getting better.
Hot coffee. Iced Cream.
Stuffing myself for Thanksgiving. (or the like)
Irritatingly old computer.
Interestingly new language.
Coffee. Culture. Colour.
Here I will remain but a few days.
On Holiday.

She will be loved

- Maroon 5

And so she will be loved.
Not liked. Yes loved.
Kissed for the very first time.
Unfamiliar un heard from.
Mills and boon, feet have been swept off floors and mopped clean.
Left me still sifting through the unreal air, tingling with electricity.
Gut instinct and gore all responded and they were right.
It feels A typical. It feels right.
Whirl-wind and still its calm.
Pin. Drop. Silence.

Come along with me.
I am still one... half...
Absorbing and swelling myself to be whole.
I continue to live vicariously, virtuously.
Waiting for some brooms... sweeping.
Waiting, but not hopefully.
Waiting, wishing, watching and wondering...
...if love will come through.

Its been awhile...

- Staind

Its been awhile since I've blogged regularly, or felt like I was on holiday.
Time goes by so quickly.
Stuck in a moment and you can't get out.

Since her face lit up like that when she spoke about....
Since I've seen her mysteriously happy.
Can she feel it?
Would I know?
Can I understand?
Would it be possible if I had felt this before?
Can I really live vicariously
... through her.
... through them.
and for how long?

My head throbs and stomach tightens.
Now its me.
Mind floating in superconciousspace.
The clock ticks in head and heart.
Rational. Reasonable. Real.
Reality check 1, 2.
Testing.
Disconnect.
Hang up.

Welcome to my head.
I don't quite understand either.