Faraway

Clausterphobia, congestion, exhaustion.
The body rested. Not even a minute and i was concious.
Confusion, cacphony, calm.
It was unexpected. Not even and inch and they gave me a yard.
Care, concern, warmth.
They did the best they could. Not even an accquaintance and I felt better.
Frustration, fury, breakdown.
The straw that broke the camels back. Not even three months and its enough.
Forsight, fortitude, triumph
It worked out. Not even a single accomplishment but the end is yet to come.
Fast forward, feel, ambivalent.
But I still have a dream...

Bring it back.

I effectively ignored this blog and blogging for the longest time yet, completely consumed by mundane realism.
Brought back accidently. :)
I am back, not neccecarily here to stay, such is the capriciousness of the mind, I really have nothing to do with it.
Friends are back not here to stay, the appetite is back hope it goes away.
Exams are over and the worst hasn't even begun. Beginnings but the end is yet to come.
I watched the sun set.
And until tomorrow, right now is everything.
Its a wonderful feeling to fall asleep as soon as you hit the bed. It is impossible to wake from the reverie.
Its amazing to feel like superwoman. It is frustrating you can't get there.
Its nice to blog after all this time. It is not nice to have nothing to say.

Somewhere in between.

The exams have begun again, too soon for me to have missed them, too late for a long enough holiday, such is life.
The mind can't quite comprehend the gravity of the situation, the vastness of the matter under study and its own incapacity, while frequently lapsing into fonder territory, comfortable territory, liberty and listlessness.
I have adopted the life of a... bum so to speak. 'tis fun I can tell you that, very relaxing but doesnt make for a very interesting life, so neither will be this post.
Today I wore jeans, for the first time in over a week. I am blogging for the first time in over a week.
A few days ago I realised that a large part of the reason I wanted to be 'rich' so to speak is because I'm weak.
I realised I am weak.
I lack a commitment to college, the will to work and the resolve to refuse, among other things...
And frankly, I don't care.
Moderation. Mediocrity. Average. Ok.
I just don't care ok?
The world lies in limbo and I in between.
Between struggle and success.
Between loss and luck.
Between frustration and fortitude.
Between haplessness and hope.
Yea, I'm somewhere in between.